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Parental alienation child abuse is a worldwide problem. As most of our news-oriented coverage is focused on the United States and Canada, some may not realize that parental alienation and destructive family law courts are plentiful outside of North America, too. This story highlights one troubling alienation case in Singapore.

Parental Alienation in Singapore

Wee Cheng of Singapore, one of our many readers worldwide, is a divorced father of a young boy named Adriel Cheng. His limited 8 hours of contact per week hasn’t been honored in two years. The courts will do nothing but reward the mother’s contempt for their orders. Adriel hasn’t seen his father almost half a year because of interference being enabled and enforced by human rights violators in the Singapore schools and family courts.

While Singapore has a fine reputation in many areas, Mr. Cheng’s experience shows that the government of Singapore is engaged in human rights violations and is intent on enabling parental alienators to abuse their children. In Cheng’s case, the courts and schools are directly involved in access blocking and interfering with the parent/child relationship. They have even threatened police action against him for attempting to spend time with his son at a school carnival.

Singapore parents may not have to worry about one of the frequent parental alienation tactics practiced in the United States. The city-state is half the land area of the City of Los Angeles, California, so move-away ploys to yank a child away from a parent to hundreds or thousands of miles away are not as common. Aside from this difference, everything else going wrong in the United States with governments and courts enabling and engaging in parental alienation child abuse is also happening in Singapore.

Cheng has put up his own parental alienation web site discussing his experiences and thoughts about parental alienation. There’s also a Facebook page for alienated parents in Singapore to which Cheng contributes heavily.

Despite what appears to be obvious anti-father sexism in Singapore, Wee Cheng understands there are mothers who are being alienated from their children by sociopathic fathers, too. He’s highlighted some of their stories in his own articles, including the story of Jill Egizii who has been alienated from her four children.

Wee Cheng’s Letter

Quoted below is Wee Cheng’s message containing a letter he’s sent to newspapers and government agencies in hopes of getting some help in restoring his relationship with his son:

Hi Everyone,

Some of you might have seen the below letter on my post a while ago. For those who have not, I just wish to share with you this letter that I had written. It is to express my deep concern on the Family Court’s decision of blocking me from my son’s life for 6 months, and the consequent negative impact it is now having on him.

I emailed this letter to all the 4 major local English papers but none of them is willing to publish it.

So I emailed it directly to
– the Family Court
– the Ministry Of Law and all its ministers
– the Ministry Of Education and all its ministers
– and also cc to MCYS and all its ministers.

hoping that I will receve a favourable response from them…

A plea from a parent to be there for his child

Lately MCYS has been promoting the nationwide “Dads For Life” movement, emphasizing the importance of fathers in children’s life. I am a divorced parent with joint custody of my son. However, due to changes in rulings of the Family Court and blockages from his school, I have been excluded from his life in every way. I doubt these actions of the school and the Family Court are in any way close to even supporting this movement.

Since the divorce, my son has been brainwashed by his care-takers to build hostility against me. A letter was then sent to his principal, claiming he was “traumatized” by me communicating with his teachers. Consequently, the principal demanded me to stay away “in the best interest of my son”. They also evaded all information pertaining to him from me. In November 2009 at their school carnival, his class teacher even warned me to stay away or they will engage security force against me. Though I have a right to see my son, I complied with their demands to avoid an unpleasant scene.

I used to have 8-hour weekly access to my son, but it was reduced, and recently even suspended for 6-months by the Family Court claiming it was “in his higher interest”. Without his father’s presence, it affected my son who used to be a top achiever. His recent grades have deteriorated tremendously, and needs to attend extra lessons specially catered for him. Much as I want to help my son with his PSLE examinations, I cannot even do so as a father.

I hope the Family Court and MOE can enlighten me on the following –

1. How is the 6-months suspension of my presence in my son’s life in his “higher interest”? Now that he has suffered severely in academic performance, may I ask how has that decision made by the Family Court benefited him or his examinations?

2. The school and the Family Court are constantly barring me from my son. May I ask what are they protecting him from? Is his father a convicted criminal?

3. I have been very obliging whenever asked by the school to stay away. But why wasn’t I even informed when my son’s grades are deteriorating?

It pains me as a parent to see my child struggling and I am not even allowed to be there for him. All I ask is access time with him to help in his examinations, and to offer him love and support during this crucial time of his life.

Is a father’s involvement in his child’s life too much to ask? Isn’t this exactly what the nationwide “Dads For Life” movement has been calling out all fathers to do for their children?

Yours truly,
Mr Cheng Wee

Singapore Falsely Claims Support For Fathers Being Involved With Kids

Singapore puts up a false image of promoting fathers being involved in their children’s lives. The government’s Ministry of Community Development, Youth, and Sports has in 2010 launched a “Dads for Life” program aimed at encouraging paternal involvement with children. The web site for the Dads for Life program was launched on April 1, 2010. They claim to understand the importance of fathers to their children’s schooling:

Our children today spend a very large proportion of their time in school. Their years in school represent the time that they are most easily shaped by their environment and the people around them. Their values, attitudes and perspectives are formed and set for life. Fathers must play our part, in partnership with the schools, to create a conducive learning and nurturing environment for our children. MCYS’ Survey of 218 Principals and School Administrators on Parental Involvement in Schools last year showed that the schools also agree on the important role of fathers. The schools told us that a father’s involvement is beneficial to his children as he serves as a role model.

Wee Cheng is clearly a father who wants to spend time with his son. Yet the government and courts of Singapore conspire with his alienating ex-wife to ensure this will not happen for son Adriel Cheng.

If Signapore’s government was honest about its intent and practices, it should subtitle the so-called “Dads for Life” program with “subject to moms’ veto” to make its rhetoric match reality.

Children’s Rights and Society’s Responsibilities

Children have an intrinsic human right to spend time with both their parents. Such access should be encouraged in nearly every case, even when a parent is imperfect, so long as the child will not be subjected to immediate physical danger. Children also have a right to not be subjected to brainwashing to make them hate a parent. Parental alienators and their many accomplices violate both of these rights and should be viewed as the child abusers they are.

Society has a responsibility to nurture and protect children. Obviously it is failing to meet its responsibilities in regards to alienated children. Yet the failing is much deeper that this.

In most cases, parents who are being put out of touch of their children due to interference by the other parent, courts, law enforcement, schools, and other assorted accessories to child abuse are perfectly capable people who have adequate parenting skills. No parent is perfect, but in the case of alienated parents often their biggest mistake was to have a child with a sociopathic individual who appears on the surface to be pleasant and attractive but underneath is a abyss of deceit, manipulation, and destruction.

Given how schools uniformly fail to train children in psychology and government not only fails to protect children from abuse but actually abuses them itself, the mistake these parents made was all the more likely due to a combination of failures to prepare children, including both the target and alienating parents, for successful lives. They lacked the knowledge and experience to identify and cope with people having such destructive personality characteristics in part because of inadequate schooling. I’d be surprised if you can name one school anywhere in the world that adequately teaches children about child abuse, emotional abuse, and abusive relationships, no matter its exclusivity or cost. If you can, please leave a comment — I’d love to hear about any such program for kids and to help spread the word about it.

The parents with such sociopathic behaviors usually developed them for similar reasons involving a societal and familial failure to protect and nurture children. They were often abused as children and developed life-long mental health problems that make them a menace to others far worse than many criminals who are prosecuted and incarcerated for months or years for their crimes. A shoplifter, burglar, or even car thief doesn’t create anywhere near as much damage as a parental alienator engaging in moderate to severe alienation behaviors. Such common criminals might steal your property. Your property can be replaced, and your peace of mind can be at least partly restored by adding locks, alarms, seeing a therapist, and the passage of time. But alienators will take your child and abuse him or her with the venomous poison of denigration and brainwashing. In the process, they created vast amounts of psychological and financial damages for most children and parents who are targeted for alienation. This damage will persist for a lifetime in many cases, causing children to have trouble having successful loving relationships. Many such abused children will end up becoming involved in parental alienation again, either as target or alienating parents.

Many of us focus on the courts as being the problem and potential solution for parental alienation. But when you consider why children grow up to be alienating adults and why other adults have kids with them, it is clear that schools have an important role to play in stopping parental alienation. Children like Adriel Cheng should have schools that look out for not only their present interests to have both parents in their lives, but also to help educate them to ensure they do not become alienators or get entangled with sociopaths in the future. Clearly the Singapore schools are not meeting this responsibility.

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Further Reading

Parental Alienation Singapore

Message from Adult Child of Parental Alienation in Singapore

Mike Jeffries on Parental Alienation

A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation