The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father’s Struggle
Written by: Rob
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For those of us involved with the US family law system and a personality disorder victim trying to destroy our lives, we know very well how difficult it is to overcome the lies, deceptions, distortions, and law violations that personality disorder victims often use to harm us.
A large part of the problem is the courts — they are not designed for dealing with the mentally ill. Moreover, they are filled with judges who lack adequate training in psychology and have personal biases of their own. The judges often end up abusing the non-PD parent almost as conspirators.
This book by William Stoneking documents his travails with a defective and biased court system in Missouri and how his family was abused by Judge Kathryn Elizabeth Davis.
The Diary of a Patient Man, A Father’s Struggle
Description:
A compelling and inspirational true story of a father’s plight and fight for his only child and the nightmares of dealing with his domestically violent ex-wife and a biased court system that tried to chase him away.
Some of the reviews:
A CALL TO ACTION OF THE MANY STATES AND THE PEOPLE
25 Nov 2006
by Marlee Jaskowicz
Gripping, absolutely gripping. I just bought two more copies. This book is a clear demonstration that the American family is jeopardized and our courts have to change. I definitely recommend this book to social service organizations and state legislatures.
DEFINITELY VOTING NO, DAVIS HAS TO GO!
6 Nov 2006 (updated 6 Nov 2006)
by Sasha Alexander
As an ex-employee of the Clay County Court who is familiar with the author’s case I had to buy his book when I saw the ads in the paper. I found Mr. Stoneking’s work exhilerating and can tell the public that Mr. Stoneking is a leader who’s example should be followed. He truly is not only a champion of father’s rights, he is a true champion of CHILDREN’S RIGHTS! It is commonly known throughout the courthouse that Judge Davis did violate Mr. Stoneking and his daughter’s rights and she needs to be removed from her office.
Mr. Stoneking’s final chapter, The Disqualification of Judge K.E. Davis can be verified by the public easily at the following web site:
http://www.courts.mo.gov/casenet/base/welcome.do
In the case number search put in the case number
7CV102003615
ON ELECTION DAY, I AM SAYING “NO” TO RETAINING JUDGE DAVIS and YOU SHOULD TOO!
Mr. Stoneking is right, we need to change the judges in order to change the attitude. Excellent Job Reporting the Facts!
The system does NOT protect children against sick lying mentally ill women
2 Nov 2006
by Sc Kr
What truly strikes the reader is the extent of the time and effort Mr. Stoneking’s X-wife put into lying, cheating, stealing and ruining others lives (including her child) just to further her own personal manipulative ends. The book is compelling in that it clearly documents how easily the judicial system can be duped by a lying from a seriously mentally ill woman. Disturbingly, the judges that handled this process were more concerned about expediency than doing their job or protecting the child’s rights. Based on the text, Mr. Stoneking has been forced to deal with a woman who is obsessed with manipulating other people’s lives out of sick jealousy, and needs to be incarcerated for her own safety. Based on this woman’s history and mental illness, I am sure she will be posting a bad review of this book on this site using a fake name.
http://www.henrymakow.com/my_fight_with_the_domestic_vio.html
I’m from Missouri as well. Do you have William’s contact information? My phone is: 404-277-6031. My email is: [email protected]. I’d like to speak to this gentleman. Thank you:
http://informaproject.blogspot.com/2009/12/friend-me.html
Myself Harender I am 35 years old, I have got married in Dec/2005, I have two boy children one is 5 years old and second is 1 ½ year old, myself and wife both are working and my wife is suffering from OCD (obsessive compulsive Disorder) or personality disorder and now to live with her is very difficult.
1. She washes her hands more than a normal person.
2. She takes too much time to wash their clothes, she re-wear her clothes after wash only. She takes bath before sleep daily at 11.pm to 1.00am.
3. She is not able complete daily routine task on time; she takes more time to do any task from normal person.
4. She use abuse language, shout, create violence and slap me or beat children she throws objects and she always says anything nonsense.
5. She has very aggressive nature she can’t control aggression and don’t have patient always has feeling of negative.
6. She says to me always to get divorce, get out from my life and my house.
Pl give me a good advice to live my life normaly. I wish to live with my childrens/parents and want my children to be a good human being. Now a days Iam very confused what is right or wrong what should I do?.
looking for soon positive reply.
Regards
Harender
Harender,
Points #1 and #2 (washing hands and clothes and baths) could be signs of OCD, but what you’ve described isn’t really enough to know. It doesn’t sound as extreme as many OCD cases in which people are so paranoid about germs that they will wash their hands after even touching a doorknob or virtually any object used by another person. Sometimes the washing ritual is so extreme that they make their hands bleed from scrubbing for several minutes with each wash.
In some areas with hot weather where people sweat a lot, it’s not unusual to take daily baths at night before going to sleep and to not wear clothes until they have been washed again.
If you’re serious about the possibility that she may have OCD, please get a good book on the topic and read it cover to cover and do the exercises in it. I think that the book Stop Obsessing!: How to Overcome Your Obsessions and Compulsions (Revised Edition)
is an excellent choice as it contains may practical case examples and exercises you can do to figure out if what your wife is doing is likely OCD or not. If after going through that book you can fit her into some of the OCD categories it describes and make a good case for it, then I’d recommend trying to convince your wife to read it and to see a psychologist and psychiatrist. There are medications and supplements that can help with OCD and if Dr. Foa’s book is accurate then it also seems it is possible to get a great deal of relief via the treatment program she has outlined.
Point #3 is very ambiguous. It could be psychological or physiological. For instance, many chronic illnesses that go undiagnosed and untreated may sap people’s energy and mental clarity and leave them simply unable to function at a normal level. This could even look obsessive as the person checks and rechecks what he or she is doing because he or she knows they are making a lot of mistakes due to how they feel and are trying to compensate for it. Does she seem tired and without much energy?
Point #4 and #5 are compatible with a personality disorder, but they are not enough to say somebody has one. More detail and specific typical behavior examples are needed. Simply being cranky and irritable is not a personality disorder. Personality disorders are generally much more extreme than this and involve behaviors that are well out of the norm for most people most of the time.
The personality disorders I’ve written about as being sociopathic in nature, for instance, tend to involve extreme lying and distortions with intent to hurt or control other people. Examples of this include filing false reports to the police to cause false arrests, defamation by distortion campaigns that can run for years and destroy your reputation with lies before you even learn about them, and frequent use of threats and emotional manipulation to control other people.
Let me give you an example of an untreated illness that could cause much of the troubles you are describing. Untreated obstructive sleep apnea can produce very poor quality sleep and could cause all the things you are saying happening in points 3, 4, and 5. Over time, a person suffering from obstructive sleep apnea will experience psychological problems related to the lack of quality sleep and how their oxygen supply is literally being interrupted many dozens or more times per night. That will make a person cranky, irritable, fatigued, and have low energy. But it often goes undiagnosed and untreated for many years.
How long have you known your wife? Do you know much about her family background as a child and their medical histories? People with personality disorders usually have a history of severely dysfunctional and abusive families during their childhoods. People with sleep apnea or other medical problems that could explain some of the behaviors you have noted often have relatives (parents and siblings) with similar medical problems.
Rob
A MUST SEE BOOK,
“Stop Walking On Eggshells”
by Mason & Greger
(taking your life back when
someone you care about has
Bordeline Personality Disorder
8 symptoms on back of book,
all of which apply to me living
With my husband(who supposedly
may have this disorder, but he refuses to admit
he has a problem……will not seek help….NIGHTMARE!!!
Divorcing a possible BPD is like dealing
with Satan when kids are involved.
Its “A Nightmare On Elm Street”
This is crispy. I just realize that I have lived so many years with a paranoid personality disorder person. I want to get divorced but I don’t know how to start. What it is safe to do? He doesn’t admit it but this runs in his family. Advice, please! Ann C.
@ Ann C.
Paranoid personality disorder is a bit different than the usual Borderline and Narcissist disorders we see in a lot of nasty abusive romantic partners. However, these people can be prone to making false accusations and lying, too.
Also, keep in mind that some people may appear paranoid but they are not suffering from a paranoid personality disorder. Hypervigilant people and easily aroused fear happen in a lot of people who have been subjected to abuse and traumatic stress. Their reactions may be rational when you consider what they have experienced.
Be sure to read about the Axis II Cluster B personality disorders. You might see a personality disorder among them that seem a better match, or equally possible.
Keep in mind that all personality disorders are simple analytical models made up to explain how certain sets of people behave and what can be done to help them. DSM-V is radically overhauling the personality disorders and this shows that fundamentally they are just models and convenient shorthands and not truth in and of itself. There is a huge amount of overlap in symptoms between the different personality disorders. This means you can probably learn something useful by reading about many personality disorders but still may not be able to nail down exactly which apply to a particular person.
Assuming you are truly dealing with a PPD person, then I would say you need to have a good escape plan with some savings, a safe place to go where he cannot find you, and a social support network set up with close friends and family who will help you out when you make the break. You should also have a therapist who knows about personality disorders to help you make the break and to provide a better level of informed support than the typical family and friends can do.
Do you have kids? This can affect your plan a lot.
If there are no kids, go “no contact” all the way. Make the break and then have nothing to do with him again. No phone calls, no email, no direct communication, and certainly do not ever go near his home or work or places he frequents. He may interpret that as a threat to him and may start lying about what you are doing to make you appear to be a bad person.
If there are kids, then you are stuck with having some contact. Make sure it is email only, and keep the emails as short as you possibly can. These people can read a world of lies and bad intentions into the most minor things. You miss typing the “o” in “hello” and you will be accused of swearing, wishing him dead, etc. The more you type, the more there is to distort and lie about.
If you can afford to put a therapist or mediator or attorney in between you and him for any communications, then do it. This will make it a lot harder for him to make up lies and distortions about what you may have to write.
Rob