Being A Good Parent
As parents, we are responsible for caring for our helpless little newborns from birth through growingly capable toddler years all the way up to teenagers and young adults. For some of us, that care extends into adult years as our children encounter severe accidents and illnesses and possibly formerly unimaginable crises.
Sometimes we may sugar-coat an injury or illness to a child, trying to help him or her recover from feeling so badly a little more quickly. We hope the tears might stop a little sooner if we say “that bump doesn’t hurt so much!” when they fall down on the sidewalk and get a little scrape. Amazingly, it often works. Kids learn from their parents to brush off the small injuries, so long as we avoid teaching them that every little malady is a earth-shaking crisis and instead show them that yes, it might hurt, but it will go away faster if we don’t dwell on it.
Some of us have the misfortune of going through divorces or separations. To look out for our kids’ interests, we share custody of our children. Good parents put the children first. Suzy might get sick with the flu, and we share the temperature, medications, and other medical advice with our co-parent. Johnny might break an arm on the playground, and we share the news promptly along with care directions with our co-parent. Or at least most of us would do that, if we truly care about our children.
But Some Parents Can’t Or Won’t Be Good
But not all co-parents do this. Some simply lie about medical care, trying to hide any little problem the children may have. They go so far as to refuse to answer questions about injuries and illnesses, make doctor’s appointments to “prove” the other parent was wrong about an illness, and refuse to pass along medications. When confronted with proof of their egregious behaviors, then they lie even more in the ongoing attempt to over it all up.
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A friend once said “marriage is grand, divorce is one hundred grand”. In a high-conflict divorce, he might have been underestimating. High-conflict divorces generally involve extended litigation, potentially crossing over from the family law arena into civil and criminal cases involving parties besides the unhappy couple. Expenses mount quickly, $100,000+ in legal fees can be expended even by warring couples with relatively modest income and assets. Financial ruin and even bankruptcy is not unusual.
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(Click here to see more stories involving Tim Emerson.)
Tim Emerson, M.D., is a doctor. Or more accurately, was, until the Texas and US governments destroyed his life on behalf of his adulterous lying wife Sacha. She had an affair with her hairdresser and wanted to keep their 4 year old daughter to herself, so in 1998 as part of her divorce tactics to get what she wanted, she falsely accused him of domestic violence. The government was pleased to be able to help her destroy her ex-husband.
Texas and US Federal governments went after him in court on varying charges. The Texas state cases were dismissed. So was the first Federal case. But Janet Reno (of Waco infamy) decided the Clinton Administration should make an example out Dr. Emerson, so they appealed and got a conviction, throwing Dr. Emerson into federal prison for 2.5 years.
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In the back of my mind, I think of myself as a “real feminist”. I support equal opportunity for women, equal pay for equal work, and the rights of women to vote, be free from discrimination based upon their gender, and to enjoy self-determination of their lives. Unfortunately, the feminist movement of mainstream culture was subverted years ago by people who are not aiming for gender equality but instead seek superiority for women over men by any means they can. This presents a dilemma for people like me who genuinely want women and men to enjoy the same rights and responsibilities.
I’m a father, and I have daughters. How could I want anything less than equal opportunities and equal protection under the law for my daughters? Most fathers my age whom I know think similarly. Maybe men twenty or more years ago were not as egalitarian-minded, and even today in Muslim nations there is extensive inequality for women. But nearly all of the men I know today living in Western nations and sophisticated developing nations such as China are used to working with women and reporting to female supervisors. We’ve supported our female partner’s careers and educational goals. We love our children, both our sons and daughters, and want them to have the opportunities the deserve to have good and fulfulling lives pursuing their lives how they want to do so, whether that means as doctors, engineers, lawyers, scientists, librarians, soldiers, business managers, or stay-at-home parents if that’s what they chose.
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We’re in favor of equal time (50/50) shared parenting after the breakup of marriages and relationships unless there’s evidence to make a strong case it is not appropriate. We believe that children need both parents in their lives and that laws and practices that tend to remove one parent from the picture without just cause, simply based upon gender, are immoral and against the best interests of the children.
While in many Western societies the gender bias is against fathers, in other societies it is against mothers. We believe that neither is appropriate to the welfare of children. As an example of common legal practice with bias against mothers, we cite Shari’a law as implemented in many Muslim nations. Below we post some excerpts of writings on Shari’a legal thinking to illustrate the point that gender bias is widespread and not always against fathers.
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The USA PATRIOT Act has yielded a new class of terrorists — disruptive airline passengers. Since the passage of that law after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, more than 200 airline passengers have been convicted of felony terrorism by such dangerous means as yelling or swearing at airline employees and swatting disobedient children. While it was previously in theory possible to prosecute some of these acts as violent behaviors on airlines, the USA PATRIOT Act has made it vastly easier and the climate it has created has encouraged prosecutions of even disruptive behaviors that do not appear to be threatening to safety.
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Minnesota is considering passing legislation to make shared physical custody of children between both parents a presumption of the court. Under the current law, the courts presume that parents will share legal custody. But physical custody is up for grabs. Detractors of the current law believe that it sets up families for bitter custody disputes and frequently results in fathers and children being short-changed of time with each other.
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Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s last-minute pleas to the Illinois Senate fell on deaf ears. He argued that he had done nothing wrong and there was no criminal conviction and therefore how could he be removed from office. Further, he argued that the Illinois Senate’s rules denied him a chance to defend himself and disallowed him calling witnesses to mount a defense. The Senate voted 59 to 0 to remove him from office despite his pleas. Click here for more written and video coverage.
Further reading
Obama says Illinois was crippled by Blagojevich
Illinois Governor may have Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
A Tennessee child custody case involving a little girl named Kate Hopkins and her father Jeremy Hopkins is developing into a test of the 14th Amendment equal protection by the law. If the 14th Amendment is found to apply to child custody rights as it appears it should, then it follows that the apparent and widespread bias of the US courts against fathers is unconstitutional. Therefore this case could affect child custody decisions across the entire United States.
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What is High Fructose Corn Syrup?
High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) is a widely used sweetener in the United States. As corn prices plummeted in the 1970s, HFCS was developed to make use of the corn crop in other products. It’s used in an increasingly wide variety of products in the last three decades, from soft drinks to baked goods. It is often one of the largest ingredients in sweet products, frequently taking the first to third place on the food products ingredients labels mandated in the United States.
You might think that such a widely used product with a 30+ year track record would be safe. The HFCS manufacturers in the United States have been running a campaign to convince the public that’s the case. You can take a look at the web-based portion of this campaign at HFCSfacts.com: You’re in for a Sweet Surprise.
HFCS May Be Implicated in the US Obesity and Diabetes Epidemics
The reality is that HFCS has for years been suspected to be involved in the epidemic rise of obesity and diabetes in the United States. Numerous studies have found indications that the increasing use of HFCS may correlate with the increase in obesity and diabetes over a similar period of time. Unsurprisingly, HFCS manufacturers refute this, claiming that there is no credible scientific evidence to support such conclusions.
HFCS is Often Contaminated with Mercury
However, much more alarming news about HFCS has been announced this month. Recent studies of samples of HFCS and food products containing it in the United States conducted via two studies found that between 31% and 45% of the samples contained mercury. Mercury is toxic in even small quantities. For years, there have been suspicions that mercury used in vaccines may be related to the rise in autism in the United States. But this mercury contamination issue is much bigger and affects common foods widespread throughout the nation’s food supply. Products tested from big-name manufacturers such as Minute Maid, Coca-Cola, Hershey’s, Quaker, Hunt’s, Manwich, Smucker’s, Kraft, Nutri-Grain, and Yoplait had detectable levels of mercury.
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