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Borderline Mom: A Quick & Dirty Manual of Emotional Self Defense for Children is a new title by Georgiana Wright for people dealing with a mother suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), whether formally diagnosed or simply suspected. One of the key decisions children of Borderlines eventually must make is whether the destructive relationship with their mother can be fixed by setting boundaries or whether it is better to cut off all ties and write their mother off. Author Georgianna Wright explores both choices in her new book.

Recognizing Borderline Women

Borderline women are generally abusive to those around them, particularly to their husbands, boyfriends, partners (including women partners — lesbians and bisexuals can be Borderlines just as heterosexuals can), and children. It is important to realize that many Borderlines were abused as children, some have genetic tendencies for extreme emotional behavior, and some have both characteristics. Recognizing a Borderline often depends upon noticing how they affect the people who are their close family and friends. These people often are afraid of the Borderline and can spend years being manipulated and controlled via abusive tactics, rages, and false blaming. The Borderline will often have endless complains about all of these people, seemingly justifiable unless you have actually met and seen them and therefore know that they are not the source of the problems.
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In my previous article How to Win Custody by Framing Your Ex for Child Sexual Abuse, I discussed how a significant number of malicious moms in divorce and child custody battles resort to framing their ex-husbands for child sexual abuse. While good mothers won’t stoop to such destructive stunts, malicious moms will often do this after the failure of other false allegations and attempts at parental alienation, harassing, and scaring their ex-husbands to gain sole custody of the children. This means that the defense against false child sexual abuse allegations must start long before the allegations are ever made as they are but one highly damaging step in a much longer escalating series of attacks.
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Despite more than two decades of repeated investigations by the San Diego County Grand Jury of misconduct by the County of San Diego Child Welfare Services (aka San Diego CPS) agency, the abusive agency and its illegal and harmful actions continue unabated. Safeguards to fix errors and abuses have been perverted into meaningless mechanisms to cover up wrong-doing and insulate the County of San Diego and individual social workers from criminal prosecution and civil litigation. The agency is unrelenting in its refusals to correct its own problems, and continues to run roughshod over the law, civil rights, and best interests of children. The County of San Diego and its derelict Board of Supervisors also avoid taking necessary actions to correct the problems.
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In 2008, West Virginia Governor Joe Manchin signed into law House Bill 3065 that permits prosecutors to pursue misdemeanor criminal charges against people filing false child abuse reports. It also allows the victims of false child abuse reports to file for civil damages, even if criminal prosecution has not been pursued. Although the law is a step in the right direction, it does not go far enough.

Criminal Penalties

As a misdemeanor crime, the criminal penalties are rather weak, but are better than nothing. Perhaps they may be enough to keep a few malicious parents from making false accusations of child abuse during child custody battles.
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I ran across some excellent posts by Dr. Tara Palmatier today on her website Shrink4Men. She’s chosen to focus on helping men deal with personality disordered women and the destruction they cause. Most of her writings apply very similarly to women who have been in relationships with personality disordered men. If you’ve been in a relationship like this or know somebody who has, please take a look at her website and pass it around.

Can a Target of Personality Disorder Abuse Learn to Love Again?

Dr. Palmatier’s article Can a Man Who Was Emotionally Abused By His Narcissistic or Borderline Wife or Girlfriend Have a Relationship with a Healthy Woman? struck a personal chord for me for I wondered the same thing for a long time. Today I know the answer is yes, but for a while I wondered if I would ever be able to trust another woman again.
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As of July 4, 2009, California Assembly Member Jim Beall continues his attempt to deceive the public and satiate the blood-lust of his political supporters such as Nancy Lee Grahn who want immunity for mothers to abuse their children by parental alienation brainwashing. Even though Beall’s AB 612 bill to do this was gutted by other legislature members, he continues to represent that it says something it does not in an apparent attempt to maximize his political gain by deceit.
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Accused spousal abuser Ellie Cunningham reportedly appeared in court on May 29, 2009. She’s scheduled to appear next on July 6 for her arraignment on charges of assault with a weapon and assault causing bodily harm with regards to her alleged attack on Adam Cunningham that we described in our previous article Canadian Wife Assaults Husband Who Later Dies.
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Springer Publishing Company has announced a new peer-reviewed quarterly journal called Partner Abuse: New Directions in Research, Intervention, and Policy. The editorial board includes noted researchers Donald Dutton, Murray Straus, Richard Gelles, and many others. Click the above link for more information or to subscribe.
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Toronto residents K.D. and A.L. spent more than a decade battling over custody of their three children. Mother K.D. committed parental alienation child abuse against all three daughters starting at birth and continuing until present. Father A.L. was given sole custody of their children on January 2009. Subsequent court decisions have held K.D. liable for $286,641.75 in fines and legal fees due to her contempt of court and bad faith litigation.

The decision announced by Ontario Justice Faye McWatt in January 2009 was that an alienating parent can and will be stripped of child custody for repeated refusal to cooperate with court orders and relentlessly brainwashing the children to hate the other parent. Custody of their three daughters was transferred to their father who had spent more than a decade battling the alienating mother in court to attempt to remain a part of their daughters’ lives. Their mother is only permitted to spend time with them during psychotherapy. It appears it is the hope of the courts and their father that someday their mother will learn to behave reasonably and can become a part of her children’s lives again without continuing her destructive and abusive behaviors against the children.
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(Please see the comments to this article that indicate the California state legislative website contains misleading information that may have resulted in my wrongly concluding the Judiciary Committee voted on the pro-child-abuse version of this bill on April 28 rather than the significantly cleaned up version that is being listed with a revision date of May 5, 2009.)

This is an update to our previous article California Democrat Jim Beall Supports Child Abuse. When we started writing that article, AB 612 pro-child-abuse legislation. Despite minor changes, it was still pro-child-abuse when the Judiciary Committee voted to approve it on April 28. However, somebody in the California Assembly significantly watered it down on May 5 to a version that is no longer pro-child-abuse. These changes weren’t made until after the Judiciary Committee vote approving the bill.

You can find the the revision history of AB 612 complete with text and changes and votes at AB 612 Revision and Voting History.
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