Defending Against False Child Sexual Abuse Allegations (Part 1)Written by: John Welch Print This Article
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In my previous article How to Win Custody by Framing Your Ex for Child Sexual Abuse, I discussed how a significant number of malicious moms in divorce and child custody battles resort to framing their ex-husbands for child sexual abuse. While good mothers won’t stoop to such destructive stunts, malicious moms will often do this after the failure of other false allegations and attempts at parental alienation, harassing, and scaring their ex-husbands to gain sole custody of the children. This means that the defense against false child sexual abuse allegations must start long before the allegations are ever made as they are but one highly damaging step in a much longer escalating series of attacks.
Reasonable and Trusting People Are Easy Targets
Possibly the biggest problem with starting to prepare the necessary defense is that the targets of false accusations are generally reasonable people who have been duped for their whole lives by political propaganda that falsely reassures them that they will be treated fairly. The reality is that they will be persecuted and oppressed every step of the way. This is generally not something they start to understand well until several months or years into the hell created by their enemies.
Malicious Mom is One of Many Enemies
The first step in fighting false child sexual abuse allegations is to know your enemies. The malicious mom is generally the initiator of the false allegations. But she is just one of many enemies. It is important to understand how she is a malicious liar who not only herself lies but also recruits other people to lie on her behalf. This almost always includes her friends and family, and often includes the children she had with her target thus making these children victims and participants in parental alienation child abuse. However, the malicious mom is not usually the most fearsome enemy.
The most fearsome enemy is the government and its employees who are influenced by the malicious mom. This is because they are seldom objective and they can and usually will bring to bear massive resources to hunt down, attack, and persecute the falsely accused not just in court but in their homes, workplaces, and anywhere they go.
The human resources of oppressive government almost always include CPS social workers, police officers, judges, and government lawyers. They may also include government employees at the DMV, tax agencies, and professional licensing boards who are made to participate in the harassment and destruction of the target’s life by cancelling driver’s licenses, medical and business and professional licenses, and taking tax refunds to prevent the falsely accused from having an income or resources to defend himself.
Many Malicious Moms Had Abusive Childhoods
Most mothers won’t resort to false child sexual abuse allegations. But those who will may appear to be “good mothers” who are “victims of bad men” to people who don’t know the fully story. These malicious moms are often mentally ill and victims of a poor childhood that featured ongoing emotional or other child abuse.
As a result, these malicious moms are often personality disordered individuals who are skilled in making themselves appear to be victims by making false accusations. They often truly are victims of the families who raised them as children but are not victims of their boyfriends and ex-husbands. On the contrary, they are often the primary aggressors against their boyfriends and ex-husbands all the while they are falsely claiming to be abused by these men.
These women know up close and personal all about domestic violence. They are frequently are violent themselves. As Erin Pizzey explains in her writing The Family Terroist about violent women and their addiction to violence and perpetration of domestic violence on children and men, these women are deeply programmed to be violent individuals. They may not inflict violence by taking out a baseball bat and beating somebody, but they know how to be violent and how to use violence as a tool of control. Instead of a baseball bat or gun, their weapons of choice may be a telephone used to falsely file a police report to land somebody in jail or a visit to a psychologist to make false statements that cause the psychologist to file an unwarranted child abuse report.
These women don’t just resort to making false allegations. They also engage in harassment and refusal to cooperate for the well-being of children with intent to incite defensive reactions from their ex-husbands by a wide variety of means that usually don’t start with the false sexual abuse allegations. They will break laws, court orders, restraining orders, and endanger their children all to set up their target for false accusations. They know that false accusations like violence are very effective tools for women to use to abusively control men.
False TROs: Common Starting Point for Malicious Moms
Malicious moms frequently start their dirty war to destroy their ex-husbands and gain total control over the children by using false domestic violence allegations. As the misinformed public and incompetent judges and courts are operating under the inaccurate radical feminist model of domestic violence in which women are always victims and men are always abusers, they generally not understand that domestic violence is commonly perpetrated by women and men. As a result, women have the advantage due to this form of sexism against men. Malicious moms are willing to press this unfair advantage to the maximum using every dishonest word and action they can dream up.
Other authors on this site have written about the abusive use of DV TROs (Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Order) in the past. These are also called “protective orders” in some locations. See Many Domestic Violence Temporary Restraining Orders (DV TRO) in the US are Falsely Obtained and Restraining Order 911 for further information.
Malicious moms frequently misuse temporary restraining orders to obtain control of children, home, and finances when there is no domestic violence by their ex-husbands. They will make all sorts of claims about how he beat her, beat the children, yelled, screamed, threatened to kill them, and so forth. The judges who hear these false accusations lap them up and usually issue orders depriving the falsely accused boyfriend or husband of his civil rights “to be on the safe side” which is often simply out of self-serving interest. Many judges are afraid if they don’t abuse a man’s civil rights, it will be used against them in elections if something goes wrong if they didn’t issue the order and the woman or a child gets hurt. So to protect themselves, they make it their normal practice to systematically abuse the accused with no evidence even though the majority of these TRO requests are eventually found to be unsubstantiated.
It is standard practice for a malicious mom and/or her lawyer to head into court and file for a TRO against the husband at about the same time as the divorce is filed, cutting him off from the children, kicking him out of his home, and often both blocking his access to community funds while saddling him with enormous financial obligations including paying the mortgage or rent for a home in which he can’t live and will be arrested if he comes within some arbitrary “safe” distance of it, often 100 yards or 100 meters or more. These TROs are by common practice issued without any proof. They generally take several weeks at a minimum to fight off even if there is absolutely no evidence to back up the false allegations, nobody believes the wife, and the husband can afford an attorney.
If any of those things are not true, it can take several months to even years to fight off a false TRO. It is assured of causing financial damages that to most people will be severe. Defense against these false allegations often costs tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars.
If you care to be involved in your children’s lives, you MUST fight the false allegations against you with every resource you can obtain to do so. If you do not manage to prove your innocence or at least show that it is highly unlikely that the allegations could be untrue, the corrupt sexist courts will make a “finding of domestic violence” and use it to ban you from most or all contact with your children.
Lands of Civil Rights Abuses and Constitutional Violations
Courts in the United States, Canada, Australia, United Kingdom, and other nations blatantly trounce upon the civil rights of their citizens, especially male citizens. They routinely violate their Constitutions and civil rights laws by treating those accused of domestic violence as guilty until proven otherwise.
These nations espouse “innocent until proven guilty” legal standards as part of the propaganda they use to brainwash their populations into submission to their corrupt rule. While it is questionable whether these legal standards ever apply in such nations in which law enforcement personnel routinely perjure themselves, lie to others to cause false testimony (subornation of perjury), tamper with witnesses, plant evidence, and physically and psychologically abuse the accused and the family and friends of the accused, a target of an accusation of murder or robbery will generally get treatment that is more in line with the law than a target of a domestic violence allegation will.
People, especially men, who are accused of a domestic violence crime, child abuse, or similar offenses are treated as guilty with no evidence required.
If you are a male citizen of any of these corrupt nations, you must understand that when you are accused of domestic violence or child abuse that you are treated as guilty until proven innocent and that refusing to admit guilt will be used against you to “prove” that you are guilty by government agencies. They will claim that your denial is indication that you are guilty. If you dare point out to them that innocent people should deny their guilt, they will insist that you are guilty regardless. Proof is unnecessary for they can destroy your life and take your children at their whim, disregarding the laws that require court hearings.
If the case does reach court, they will often perjure themselves or suborn perjury by others to substantiate false accusations against you. If this sounds alarmist, you should read reports from Grand Jury investigations against these government agencies that show that these abusive and illegal behaviors are routine. Some Grand Juries have gone so far as to go on the record as stating they see no way to fix the problem without holding individual social workers accountable for their illegal and abusive actions. See San Diego County Grand Jury Letter Regarding CPS Abuses for an example.
Once you are stuck in this evil system, you are sliding down a slope towards being turned into little more than a political prisoner in Guantanamo Bay. The primary differences are:
- You probably won’t be waterboarded.
- The people in Guantanamo Bay have political protesters and ACLU attorneys who will speak on their behalf, but you won’t.
- You’ll be expected to spend all your money defending yourself and paying off your false accuser to reward them for making the false accusations. If you don’t comply, you will be found guilty of failing to provide child support or spousal support and further persecuted. The government will not expect this of political and terrorism prisoners, they are treated more humanely.
- The government will generally not bother to produce any real evidence against you, but will treat you as guilty without it.
- You likely will not be charged with any crime nor ever get a fair trial.
- Your “trial” will be a mockery of justice in a Kangaroo Court (generally known as Family Law Courts) in which you might get a few minutes to try to defend yourself only to have your rights trampled upon for years with no evidence to support the actions.
Governments Support Malicious Moms
In a very real sense, these governments are evil allies of the malicious mom who assist in wrongful persecution, child abuse, and other destructive tactics. They will work willingly and tirelessly deploying many government employees funded by tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxpayer funds allocated to “protecting women and children from domestic violence and child abuse” which is a code phrase to mean “persecuting men who have done nothing abusive or violent.” They are trained in government-controlled educational programs at state-funded universities to hate men and regard them as perpetrators and to persecute those men who are targeted by a malicious mom as if their livelihoods depend upon it. It is common for them to lack all objectivity and to view every word and action of the target as a sign of guilt. If the falsely accused denies the accusations, they will claim this is a sure sign of guilt because guilty people are liars, their denials are lies, and “everybody knows” that men are abusers who should not be able to see their children.
If you are upset about these abuses being funded with your tax dollars, you should be. Government agencies that work with families are filled with oppressive, abusive, persecuting employees who are sexist and have an agenda to harm men no matter how many children and families they may harm in the process.
If you don’t believe this, you haven’t experienced what these systems are like in real life. The innocent targets of false accusations who have experienced the terror and persecution from these government organizations generally find that their entire world-views are turned upside down. They may have once believed that their nation was fair, sexism was on the wane, people are innocent until proven guilty, people will get fair trials, and so forth. After experiencing what this system does, these people know that all such former beliefs were nothing but political propaganda that made them easy targets for control and oppression.
In theory, government can and should respect the laws, practice solid ethical conduct, and do good things that benefit its citizens. In practice, government generally plays zero-sum games in which government agencies and their employees expect to run up gains (stable employment, pay raises, increasing tax incomes, etc.) and to dish out the costs and losses (court fees, prison time, deprivation of civil rights, abuse of children, etc.) to others even including people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve such maltreatment.
Governments Abuse Children, Too
It’s not just men who are abused by government. Children are abused, too, often at the behest of the malicious moms and their abusive government allies. Read the article CPS and Police Abuse Wrongly Removed Children to get some idea of how far police and CPS will go to traumatize and abuse children even without court orders and due process.
Next Steps for Defense
I’ll be writing more articles in this series to explain how to defend yourself against a malicious mom and the government abusers who assist her. It is far more than can be covered in anything short of a book, so I’ll often be referring you to other resources such as web articles and books.
This first article explains who your enemies are. They are numerous, they are powerful, and they are driven not only by your malicious ex but also by their own destructive agendas.
To get you started with preparing to defend your children and you from the destruction caused by false abuse allegations and high conflict child custody battles, below I’m listing out several articles and areas for you to further explore. I’ll be covering some of these in more detail in future articles, but want to get you started with your preparation now without further delay.
Help for Your Children
A child custody battle is likely to adversely affect your children. The level of destruction goes way up when a malicious mom is involved. At a minimum, your children are going to need some help to understand what is happening and why. There are a number of excellent books about divorce written for children that can help them understand that the divorce is not their fault, that they can love both their parents, and that sometimes parents can be very unreasonable due to being angry at each other. Some of our articles on these books include Interview with Sandra Levins, Author of “Was it the Chocolate Pudding?”, Kids’ Parental Alienation Book: “I Don’t Want to Choose!”, and Divorce Books for Kids.
Our article Breaking Mental Illness, Violence, Divorce, and Murder Cycles discusses how child abuse, mental illness, divorce, and murder operate in a cycle that causes the formerly abused children to become abusive and violent adults. Your children are at significantly increased risk for long-term psychological damage including depression, substance abuse, and domestic violence due to the conflict and child abuse they will encounter because of the actions of a malicious mom. The article also offers some suggestions for books that may help your children cope with the psychological stresses of a child custody conflict and to avoid becoming abusers or drug addicts themselves.
You should do everything you can to get your children to see a child psychologist on a regular basis (preferably once every week or two) both to help them cope with a horrible conflict and to provide yourself with a third party expert who will hear from your children what is really going on and that you are not the monster your ex makes you out to be. Many abusive parents do not want their children to see therapists as they are afraid of what the children may say. Getting your children started early with a child psychologist will help enable the psychologist to detect changes in behaviors and attitudes caused by child abuse from the malicious mom, including parental alienation and false abuse allegations.
Preparing Your Team
If you are just getting started with a contested child custody battle that looks like it is headed down the road I’ve outlined above, one of your first steps should be to learn about restraining orders. See the article Restraining Order 911 for more information on how they are frequently misused with zero evidence to cause a great deal of harm to their targets.
You are going to need to assemble a support system to help you get through what are likely to be years of living hell. There are likely a few people you can really trust. Family members and friends who have known you for a long time and who know how nasty your ex can be are the people most likely to support you emotionally and financially. Try to spread the burden around. You can easily overwhelm any one or two other people with your miserable experience, even to the point that they themselves become unable to cope with it.
Many men who are targets of malicious moms are dealing with people who may have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There are a number of support groups and resources for helping people cope with such situations that are described in the article Support for Family Members of Those With BPD. Sometimes these are resources you can share with your own personal support network to help them help you.
You may find that you develop severe depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, and other mental health problems as you are attacked by your evil ex and abusive and illegal government actions. You’ll likely need to get both a psychologist and a psychiatrist on board to help you with managing your mental health. It’s best to find therapists and doctors who have experience dealing with high conflict divorces as they know how destructive the system is and are more likely to be able to meet your needs.
Don’t be afraid to get mental health assistance and to use dietary supplements and medications when appropriate. More than 27 million Americans are using antidepressant medication each year and likely more than 20% of the population suffers from personality disorders. While antidepressants can be very effective, it’s often helpful to investigate inexpensive dietary supplements to find a few that can help your situation. For instance, L-Theanine and tea products can help with reducing anxiety, insomnia, and depression. There is evidence that 5-HTP, L-tryptophan, L-tyrosine, fish oil products, vitamin D, vitamin B12, folic acid, and other inexpensive dietary supplements can also help with depression either by themselves, in combinations, or in conjunction with typical antidepressant medications.
If your ex retains an attorney, you are almost certainly going to need to retain one, also. Hiring a family law attorney is worthy of a whole series of articles in and of itself. In brief, expect that it is going to cost you a huge amount of money and that finding a good one is a crapshoot unless you’re willing to put in a large amount of time listening to attorneys in family law court rooms and interviewing them. In big cities, family law attorneys can easily run $200, $300, or more per hour. Big fees don’t necessarily buy the best attorneys. Some family law attorneys are highly experienced with cases involving false allegations and mentally ill spouses. Most are not. If you have a malicious mom for an ex, you are going to need an attorney who has this experience. Sometimes the best referrals come from other attorneys or people who have been through similar hellish child custody battles.
Check Back for More Articles
I’m hoping to write one or two of these articles per month, so if you found this article helpful please check back later for more. Also, if you would like me to follow up on a particular area in more detail, please leave comments on the articles. I’ll be sure to review them.
These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. The products mentioned on this post are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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