Borderline Mother, Miserable FatherWritten by: Rob Print This Article
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People who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder are often sexually promiscuous. They may have learned early in life that sex is a way to control or manipulate others, possibly because they were sexually abused as children. Borderline women may have unusual fascinations regarding sex with “unavailable” men that lead them to affairs with men who already have relationships and might even be married.
Borderline women have a unique feature that Borderline men don’t have — they can become pregnant. As Borderlines often have abandonment issues, behaviors that many of them exhibit are to conceive a child with a man whom they have told they are using birth control, can’t get pregnant, or some other distortion to reassure the man that they aren’t going to inadvertently father a child.
But the Borderline woman may simply be lying to cover up her intent to become pregnant. She may not be taking any birth control pills or it may be prime time during her menstrual cycle for getting pregnant. She might have punched a whole in her supply of condoms so they won’t work. She might even use the contents of a discarded condom to impregnate herself after her “catch” has fallen asleep or left. The end result is that a man who has a relationship with a Borderline woman has a very high chance of having children with her without his consent.
Such a Borderline woman then often proceeds to use the child as a way to alleviate their abandonment anxieties. Sometimes the way this works is to trap the father into a long-term relationship that cannot be severed because of the child.
Other times, she pushes the father away at a distance that feels “safe” to her lest he threaten her sense of the child being her personal property. Thus she may end the relationship, leaving him without the knowledge he has a child until much later. Or they may use parental alienation techniques or false accusations to get him to stay away or have him locked up in jail based upon lies.
Shari Scheiber, M.A., has written the article BLACKMAILED INTO FATHERHOOD;
Borderline women, and men who love them that discusses these unusual behaviors of Borderline women. Men should be very, very cautious about getting involved in a relationship with a woman who shows any of the behavioral patterns she cites:
Women who ‘entrap’ are typically bright, attractive/alluring, highly seductive and charismatic–but their moods are mercurial, and behaviors patterns are extremely unstable. Relationships are characterized by an ongoing series of breakups or periods of distancing, and reunions. Wildly alternating relational dynamics (come here/go away) can feel confusing and emotionally injurious, leaving you with the sense that they either love you or hate you. Within the same day or hour their perceptions of you can shift dramatically–and you’ll be feeling adored/idealized or devalued/criticized/rejected. These behaviors and traits are consistent with Borderline Personality Disorder.
Borderlines are narcissistic–but you’ll also observe other problems, such as; desperate attempts to gain attention, intense/irrational abandonment fears, lack of empathy, extreme jealousy, lying, poor impulse control, extra-marital affairs, drug/alcohol abuse, hypersexuality, ‘crazy-making’ interactions, low self-esteem, rebound relationships, passive-aggression, cognitive distortion, self-harming behaviors, eating disorders, suicidal ideation, stalking, etc.
This article has a lot of insights for men to help them avoid getting permanently entangled in a destructive relationship with a Borderline woman in which the children involved will likely also suffer a great deal. It also explains much about the behaviors of Borderlines and the damage they can cause to you. It’s a recommended read.