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Statistics from many studies in the last few decades show that domestic violence is not a gender issue. Harvard Medical School and the US Centers for Disease Control studied 11,000 men and women ages 18-28 and found 24% of heterosexual relationships have had violence in them. Half of these relationships experience reciprocal violence, meaning that both partners have physically assaulted each other. Of the other half, women committed more than 70% of the non-reciprocal violence and were more likely to hit first in the reciprocal violence. Both sexes suffered significant injuries.

Domestic violence is typically an issue of control and learned abusive behaviors stemming from childhood. Nobody deserves to be abused, but contrary to popular misinformed opinion, it is clear that both genders are often responsible for abuse. Yet men continue to be wrongly blamed as nearly always being the abusers.

The result of this bias is that domestic violence problems do not get resolved. The false feminist fringe’s male-bashing propaganda seems to claim that the only good man is a dead man, or perhaps one who obeys and subordinates himself to a dominant woman. It turns out that physical violence often results from attempts to wrongly control another person. While abusers certainly use physical violence to control, victims also use it to resist control. Children in the home suffer and may learn to become abusers themselves, and these future abusers are likely to attack both genders.

Police seldom believe male victims of DV. They often allow the female perps to go right on abusing. It’s not uncommon for them to arrest the male victim because they refuse to believe that women can be violent. Some police departments even have “must arrest someone” orders for DV calls, so if the cops can’t figure out what happened, by default they arrest the man.
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The US Census Department revealed that marriage rates in 2009 were the lowest in more than 100 years. While they attribute it to the economy, those of us who have seen what it is like to have children and marital conflict in the US know that the government’s anti-family and victim-persecuting policies are major disincentives to marrying.

Given the lack of psychological education for children, many suffer badly from child abuse with no help coping. Many of these abused kids go on to become abusers themselves.

Few know how to identify these abusive adults until after they marry them and discover they are being emotionally, verbally, and sometimes physically abused on a frequent basis. It is far too easy to inadvertently marry a sociopath.

Even when you figure out you have married an abusive person, the courts will often, perhaps even usually, not protect you from these people. Instead, they take the abuser’s side and help them commit even more abuses. “Take the kids, take the house, it’s your reward for terrorizing your spouse” is the common refrain of the black-robed bandits in American family law courts.

Is it any wonder why more and more people are wondering whether marriage in America is even safe any more?

Further Reading

Donald Bren’s $3 to 9 Million in Child Support Enough, Says Jury

Escaping Sociopathic Abuse Almost Impossible When Children Are Involved

American Judicial Terrorism May Lead to Widespread Violence

Stopping Parental Alienation Requires Family Court Reforms

Census data: Weddings in 2009 at record low level

Separation anxiety is a behavior normally found in infants and small children when a loved one is moving out of contact with them. They become worried and uncomfortable, anticipating the absence of the loved one. Often this loved one is a parent, other times it is a relative or a familiar care provider. This is a normal part of the development of children and tends to go away by the time they are around three or four years old. But not all behaviors that appear to be separation anxiety are in fact so. Alarmingly, sometimes such behaviors are the result of premeditated child abuse by the parent handing over a child to another person, particularly to the child’s other parent.

Personality Disordered Abusers Hurts Kids To Hurt Ex and Win Custody

When you’re a divorcing or divorced parent of a child you had a with a sociopath, psychopath, or other personality disordered abuser (PDA), there’s a chance you will come face-to-face with the reality that your ex is willing to abuse your child to make it look like he or she doesn’t like being returned to you. The ex wants to worsen the separation anxiety, or at least the apparent “symptoms” of it, often in front of witnesses whom will be asked to write declarations or testify in court or to talk with psychological evaluators, therapists, CPS, and court-appointed mediators. The PDA expects these reports that the child doesn’t like to be returned to you will help ensure your custody is reduced and the PDA’s custody is increased.
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Domestic violence (DV) is a bad thing, but in our society it is loaded with double standards. The video in this posting mocking Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods is funny, but if it had been male-on-female violence do you think anybody would have made light of it?

By covering up what seems to have happened and going into hiding, Tiger has enabled Elin to be more capable to remove their kids from their father as she seems to be intent on doing. He’s also doing a disservice to domestic violence victims everywhere, especially abused men but also abusive women who need help to stop their behaviors.

Tiger has obviously made a lot of mistakes, but he could start trying to repair the damage. He should reveal what really happened with the golf club incident, speak up against domestic violence and philandering, and try to stay involved in the lives of his kids Sam and Charlie.

Further Reading

DCF Poaching on the Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren Kids?

Abusive Women “Acceptable” By Double Standards

NFL Football Star Steve McNair Allegedly Murdered by Girlfriend

Woods must risk embarrassment and humiliation, says Harmon

Tiger Woods’s Wife Focusing on Kids

Tiger Woods and His PR Strategy: Why This Incident will Cost Him Millions

Emily McDonald of Austin, Texas has been arrested for repeatedly putting feces into the feeding tube for her hospitalized 3 year old daughter. Her actions were reportedly captured on hospital surveillance cameras after hospital staff became suspicious that the only way the girl could have fecal matter in her bloodstream would be from fecal contamination from feeding tubes.

Such contamination could produce sepsis which is often fatal. The mother reportedly confessed to police that she knew she was making her daughter sick and was doing so to gain attention. Police claim she admits to putting fecal matter in the feeding tube five times since her daughter was admitted to the hospital on April 15. Given the girl’s medical history, it seems very plausible that medical abuse was what put her into the hospital in the first place.
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(Click here for more coverage of domestic violence.)

What is domestic violence? Many people think of it as purely physical in which one person beats up another. Many people think that only men commit domestic violence and women are always the victims.

Neither of these perceptions is accurate. Domestic violence involves more than just physical abuse. It includes verbal and emotional abuse which may have no physical component. Studies show that women commit domestic violence at rates similar to men. Further, they do this not only against men, but even in lesbian relationships in which no men are involved.

Our view is that all domestic violence is bad, no matter who commits it. Domestic violence will continue to be a problem especially if violent behaviors are written off because they are not physical or because women are committing them. Much of the literature and popular beliefs about domestic violence contribute to victimization of children, men, and even women by abusive women due to inaccurate biases that falsely classify women as not possibly being perpetrators of domestic violence. (See Women commit more than 70% of single-partner DV for a Harvard Medical School study which amply shows this.) Further, as modern research shows that partner violence tends to beget partner violence, the women abusing their partners makes it far more likely they will be co-abused in return.

When reading about domestic violence, you must realize that much of the literature and research in this field was done with the assumption that men are abusers and women are victims. Recent research has shown that this is not accurate, that anybody can be a victim and anybody an abuser. Some writings in the domestic violence field are gender-neutral and use well-designed studies to make their conclusions. For whatever reasons, some do not. Some claim it is because of sexist bias, others because of feminist propaganda. Whatever the reason, after you strip away the gender bias from the sources that haven’t caught up to the inaccuracy of the male abuser / female victim model popularized by early work in domestic violence in the 1970s despite much evidence to the contrary, there is still value to what these sources have to say.

For example, Professor Straus of the University of New Hampshire was one of the early researchers in domestic violence in the 1970s. He researched battered women and assumed that men were the abusers. However, over his 35 years of research, he has come to realize that abusers can be of either gender and that his earlier viewpoints were gender-biased. (See Female Violence Against Males.)

The bottom line is that all domestic violence is bad, regardless of who commits it.

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