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Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

A Judge’s View of “Best Interests of the Children”

July 6th, 2010 17 comments
Please be sure to read the editor’s note at the end.

Highlights of a speech by San Diego’s Honorable Lisa Drunk on June 31st

I am honored to appear before you tonight at this meeting of the San Diego County Bar Association. Thank you for inviting me to speak on my views on the best interests of children as judges see them. This is a very important matter as it is essential to our careers as jurists, attorneys, and court service providers.

As an experienced family law judge, I am tasked with upholding the law in my courtroom and serving the best interests of children. This is a difficult job, one to which I must give a great deal of consideration and attention to creating the best possible outcome to the people who really matter, judges and our friends.

When litigants enter my courtroom, they must understand that I am God and the law is what I say it is. If they question this, I will take their children, property, and other privileges away from them. They have no rights, only privileges which I allow them to have. They have no right to trial by jury, no right to due process of law, and no right to anything except to bask in the glow of my presence so long as they do not annoy me.
Read more…

The Truth About Governments and Economics

March 17th, 2010 No comments

We received an email from a friend today that explained the way of the world in simple bovine terms.

We would cite the author, but unfortunately we were not provided with the source. If the author ever comes across this, I hope that he or she will leave a comment here and claim authorship of this wise and whimsical “cow philosophy”.

21 Business Models Explained With Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk..
Read more…

Looney Laws

March 4th, 2010 No comments

We thought we would take a break from all the seriousness of the world today and bring you a little spot of lightheartedness from our collection of bathroom reading. Here are some entertaining and senseless bits of trivia for the legally minded. These idiotic laws are excerpted from Uncle John’s Unsinkable Bathroom Reader (Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader).

  • In Providence, Rhode Island, it’s illegal to sell toothbrushes on Sundays. (Toothpaste is OK)
  • It’s against the law in Washington state to pretend that your parents are rich.
  • Women in Corvallis, Oregon, are not legally permitted to drink coffee after 6:00pm
  • By law, Washington drivers must carry an anchor to be used as an emergency brake.
  • Read more…

Poor Married Joe: Abused by “Psycho Demon” Spouse

February 3rd, 2010 1 comment

Kevin “Jackal” Johnson has put together a series of animations about a hardworking unassertive “nice guy” named Joe and his demanding abusive spouse. While he’s not yet stated this animated woman is a narcissist or borderline, she certainly acts like one. He may not be right about her being a psychopath — sociopath is more the ticket — but the style of her emotional and verbal abuse is just the kind of garbage coming out of mentally ill abusers.

Check out Poor Married Joe for more episodes.

More “Psycho Abuse” Videos

Talking With A Borderline

Psycho Girlfriend: Episode 1

Tiger Woods Golf Club Incident and DV Double Standards

January 11th, 2010 No comments

Domestic violence (DV) is a bad thing, but in our society it is loaded with double standards. The video in this posting mocking Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods is funny, but if it had been male-on-female violence do you think anybody would have made light of it?

By covering up what seems to have happened and going into hiding, Tiger has enabled Elin to be more capable to remove their kids from their father as she seems to be intent on doing. He’s also doing a disservice to domestic violence victims everywhere, especially abused men but also abusive women who need help to stop their behaviors.

Tiger has obviously made a lot of mistakes, but he could start trying to repair the damage. He should reveal what really happened with the golf club incident, speak up against domestic violence and philandering, and try to stay involved in the lives of his kids Sam and Charlie.

Further Reading

DCF Poaching on the Tiger Woods, Elin Nordegren Kids?

Abusive Women “Acceptable” By Double Standards

NFL Football Star Steve McNair Allegedly Murdered by Girlfriend

Woods must risk embarrassment and humiliation, says Harmon

Tiger Woods’s Wife Focusing on Kids

Tiger Woods and His PR Strategy: Why This Incident will Cost Him Millions

Diaper Changing Instructions

November 8th, 2009 No comments

Zazzle is a web-business that enables people and companies (even big ones like Disney!) to design their own products with custom art, either for their own use or for resale. They and their customers can print the art on a variety of goods, from T-shirts to coffee cups to bags — even shoes!

I was looking at their web site the other day and saw this “diaper changing instructions” design and laughed out loud. Simple, but it gets the point across. It’s a good use of their custom product manufacturing prowess. You can get it on a variety of kid and adult size clothes, even including baby onesies!

This design might make a good humorous gift for a number of purposes.

  • You’re trying to prepare your significant other for the idea of having (more) children.
  • Your friends are going on their first post-birth date and you’d like to remind their baby-sitting teenager to change the baby’s diaper.
  • You’re getting a divorce from a senseless dolt that doesn’t care about your children but falsely projects that you are the incompetent uncaring parent who doesn’t even change diapers. If so, let her (or him) know just how a baby’s diaper is changed by dressing the baby in a onesie with this design.

Click on the diaper changing instructions baby onesie to the left to find out more about how to order this graphic on a product of your choice, including T-shirts and onesies for your children.

The folks at teewitbaby who came up with with diaper changing instructions design have a number of other cute baby-oriented products. You can see a sample of some of them below.


Design your own products using zazzle.com