Gender Polarization Impedes Family Law Reform

Today I viewed a disturbing website. It’s called Justice4Mothers ^[1]. The idea that mothers deserve justice is not disturbing. I believe that everybody deserves justice regardless of gender or sexual orientation. And it’s not that every one of the articles on the site is alarming, either. But one particular article riled me up a bit. The article is reposting of a twisted reposting entitled Attention Judges and Lawmakers: This is the REAL AGENDA of the Father’s Rights Movement ^[2].

I don’t consider myself a father’s rights activist, so the reason the reposted articles bother me is not that they put down father’s rights groups and I’m somehow personally offended by this. I’m an advocate for the rights of parents and children of both genders. There’s no question in my mind that sometimes its the mothers who are shafted by the courts, sometimes it is the fathers, and usually it is both. And usually, the children are victimized right along with one or both of their parents.

The main two reasons I’m alarmed by this article are:

1. The article is a mockery and distortion of author Rachel Alexander’s ^[3] original work. I wouldn’t like to see this done to my writing and empathize with how Rachel Alexander feels about it.
2. The article serves to further harm all children and parents. It largely consists of a reposting of vitriolic tripe from an hack job reposting of her work at the web page How Fathers Can Win Custody to Avoid Paying Child Support ^[4].

I compared the reposted articles versus the original article Guide: How Fathers Can Win Child Custody ^[5] on the Intelligent Conservative ^[6]. The World O’ Crap ^[4] version is totally different from the Intelligent Conservative ^[6] version. It appears to be a mockery of the original article. It quotes bits and pieces of the original work interspersed with extreme distortions to make the original words look ridiculous. But the Justice4Mothers ^[1] reposting has made the matter worse by removing the formatting that made it somewhat clear what the original words were versus the spin-job.

Rachel Alexander ^[3] is aware of the mockery being made of her article by the World O’ Crap ^[4] website and their distorted hack job on her writing. View Rachel Alexander’s posting archive page ^[7] and scroll down to the bottom. You will notice how displeased she is about that warped spin on her writing:

(from Rachel Alexander’s posting archive page ^[8])

Note to the haters: Ms. Alexander has never posted on a salon.com blog called World o Crap and to say otherwise is false as well as libelous.

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Mother’s Rights Websites: Too Many Espouse Rabid Extremism

The tactics mentioned in the spin-job reposts are purported as being applied by men to ruin their ex-wives and ex-girlfriends to obtain 100% child custody. However, these same destructive and selfish tactics are applied by women, too. By perpetuating and spreading the distorted views from World O’ Crap ^[4], Justice4Mothers ^[1] is doing children and parents, including mothers, a grave disservice. Sadly, it is just one of many “angry women” web sites that is creating such a bad impression of women and mothers. Without knowing more about the people behind these sites, I’d hazard a wild guess that they are either guys posing as extremist women to make a point or they are personality disordered vindictive and likely abusive women. But whatever the case may be, the result is not good.

Extremism and sexism are common problems with far too many “mother’s rights” web sites. We’ve been noticing recently that there are slew of them that are quoting from and linking to our articles. While typically this would be fine with us, it is alarming to see how these web sites distort the facts in an attempt to trash fathers and men in general that not only does a disservice to fathers, but also seriously harms children and good mothers, too.

Some of them appear to be going after particular men, going so far as to doctor photographs of fathers to make them look creepy. Canadian author Michael Murphy of the web site Parental Alienation Canada ^[11] and others have been slammed by some of these web sites as he describes in his article The Cyber Stalkers from OZ are back again with their not so secret – secret service ^[12].

What these web sites are doing is not productive. Blindly stereotyping child custody warfare perpetrators by gender isn’t helpful. It actually increases the odds of these battles continuing, ensuring the demise of more children, parents, and families due to the ongoing systemic failure to reform the broken family law courts and family and domestic relations laws.

Balkanization Of Family Law Reform Advocates

Polarizing family law problems along gender lines serves the purposes of those who would like to perpetuate the tragedies of today long into the future. The polarization pushed by “gender rights” groups balkanizes those who oppose the current system. It serves the divide and conquer tactics of the power-elite in government and lobbying groups who conspire with them. These groups are happy to pit men and women against each other in a fight to the death over child custody.

The government and lobbying groups that interfere with family law reform regard divorce as a sort of financial equivalent to the energy output of nuclear fission. Break apart an atom by fission and you get some energy. Break apart lots of atoms and you get a chain reaction that might blow up a lot more than just the decomposing atoms.

Likewise, breaking apart lots of families releases large stores of cash. The people behind are often “irradiated” severely, leading to long term ruination by psychological, emotional, and financial devastation. Others are figuratively incinerated by the nuclear divorce blast. Both outcomes are desirable for many judges, lawyers, CPS social workers, police, psychologists, and collection workers who comprise the divorce, domestic violence, and child support industries. That’s because the destruction of children and families helps ensure their financial security by sucking the lifeblood out of families. Additional revenues are gained by hocking off the pieces of what remains after mommy and daddy have repeatedly shot each other with legal bullets for several years and the children have had holes blasted in their souls by the conflict.

Child support begets a whole new government bureaucracy that serves to take from some to give to others while taking a cut along the way and abusing anybody who disagrees. Money doesn’t lead to good parenting, but wars over child support money lead to damaged and even dead children and parents.

Then those damaged children turn into ready enablers of job security for CPS, police, and psychologists because they tend to become depressed, anxious, antisocial, and even criminal. Many of them will go on to abuse their own children in the future and repeat the mental illness, divorce, child abuse, and crime cycle.

Both Genders Culpable

Both men and women abuse the family law courts and their children. I understand that it is often very hard to be objective about this when your personal experience stems from the nightmare bullying, lying, harassment, and even parental alienation pulled on you and your family by your ex-wife or ex-husband. But the failure to be objective leads to false generalizations that only women or only men commit abuses and crimes in child custody battles. This is foolish, intellectually dishonest, and counterproductive. It is as moronic as generalizing that all men are evil genocidal maniacs because Hitler and Stalin were both men. It is just as idiotic as claiming that all women must be witches because in Salem they executed many of them and the common (but inaccurate) perception is that all were females.

American Divorce Courts: The New Salem Witch Trials

Sadly, family law courts and the polarized bickering around them today are much like the Salem witch trials ^[13]. Reality has been tossed out the window. Due process has been stabbed in the back and left to die. Innocent people are being ruined by false and bizarre allegations. Children are being seriously harmed. And the insanity continues largely unabated. Meanwhile, the government and its power-hungry agents benefit from the chaos.

What’s In A Name?

There are many well-intentioned family law reform groups with the words mother, father, men, or women in their names. Unfortunately, there are many groups with such names which are not at all well-intentioned. If you’re fed up with the family law system and are thinking about starting a group in your area, do yourself a favor — avoid the gender bias in your name. Stick the words “parents” or “children” or “families” in your names and avoid any hint of identifiable gender bias that might get you lumped together with the gender extremists.

Gender Polarization Ensures No Solutions

Both the mother’s rights and father’s rights bigots are doing themselves and more importantly their children no good. The government and its parasitic allies enforce their family-busting policies to turn parents on each other to drain them of their assets and transform their children into fountains of money and job security. By polarizing the unquestionably wronged populace of broken families, the gender rights groups are simply enabling more of the same. These problems simply will not be fixed until there is a stop to the gender wars over child custody and family law.

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Further Reading

Unconstitutional Child Custody Decisions ^[14]

Republicans Fail to Offer Family-Friendly Policy Choices ^[15]

Holding Family Law Judges Accountable ^[16]

Men’s Rights: Feminism should be about equality — for males too ^[17]

Cathy Young Criticizes Slate/Salon Hit Job on Family Court Reform Movement in Forbes ^[18]

Battered women – and men ^[19]